According to psychological research, the greatest emotional need is security.

根据心理学研究，人们最大的情感需求是安全感。

Who doesn’t want to be liked?

谁不想被别人喜欢呢？

Yet, trying to be liked and living in alignment with your goals and values often conflict. That is, if you’re trying to be liked by everyone.

试图被所有人喜欢和坚持自己的目标与价值观常常会发生冲突。也就是说，如果你试图迎合所有人的喜好，那么这种冲突就尤为明显。

John Lennon once said, “Trying to please everybody is impossible — if you did that, you’d end up in the middle with nobody liking you. You’ve just got to make the decision about what you think is your best, and do it.”

约翰·列侬曾说：“想让所有人都满意是不可能的——如果你这样做，最终会变成没人喜欢你。你只需要做出决定，坚持自己认为最好的去做。”

Wanting approval and needing approval are two very different things. We all want approval. But when you need it:

想要认可和需要认可是两个截然不同的概念。我们都希望得到认可，但如果你非要不可：

• You come-off as desperate
• 你给人的感觉有点太过急切了。
• you say “yes” to stuff that clearly doesn’t resonate
• 你同意了一些显然不感兴趣的事情。
• you lack an internal compass
• 你没有自己的判断标准。
• your relationships are co-dependent, one-sided, surface-level, and bound to fall apart at some future point
• 你的关系总是相互依赖，但却是单方面的、浅显的，总有一天会土崩瓦解。